When You're Gone
by SorainaSkye
Summary: We know that Cloud and Tifa miss Aerith terribly...but what of a certain ninja? How much does she miss the woman that was like her sister? YuffieAerith FRIENDSHIP, could be interpreted as slight Y/V.


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Hey! Songfic here! I cut part of it out because it was something that would describe a lover and...yeah...anyway, hope you like! Song: When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne  


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When You're Gone…

My name is Yuffie Kisagari.

And right now, I'm in one of the longest and most expected battles of my nineteen years of existence.

No, I'm not talkin' one of those 'shake em' up, grab-a-sword-and-save-the-people kind of battles. Though the safety of one person was in question.

That person wasn't me.

It was my father.

My fists clenched as I gritted my teeth. It really wouldn't do for the heir to the Wutaian throne to brutally murder her father would it?

Didn't think so. Too bad, really. The things I do for my image…

"I really don't give a damn, _Godo,_" I hissed. My father's middle-aged face flinched at the use of his name. The small, calm, sane part of me (I know what you're thinking… Sane? Me? CALM?!!? Hey, I said _small_, didn't I?), felt guilt at his hurt. And my selfishness. But mostly, I really didn't care.

But to be honest…I 'really didn't care' a lot lately.

I couldn't even stand to hear his rebuttal, I turned and left.

I turned…and _ran._

It didn't matter who saw me, it wasn't like they could stop me from leaving- I nearly laughed at the image of them _trying_ to stop me.

_Nearly_ laughed.

I guess that right there would tell you how much I've changed.

I didn't even realize that I was alone so much, until right now. These days, all I did was go off by myself.

Gawd. I REALLY need to find a hobby. Pretty soon, I'll be wearing a cape, sleeping in a coffin, and mumbling incoherent sentences about "atoning" for someone that betrayed me…

I inwardly cringed at myself. Vinnie wasn't _that _bad. …Usually. Actually, I had been seeing him a lot lately. (Which is kinda weird, not to mention creepy, seeing as Wutai isn't exactly a hop and a skip away from Nibelheim…) I suppose you could say that we were friends in a way neither of us had thought possible.

I guess the vampire's startin' to rub off on me.

Anyway, if you see my mind, tell it to send a postcard. I rather miss it.

Point is, I was by myself a lot. Mostly I just plopped down on a cliff and looked around. To me, it's almost like a drug. I just…_can't stop._ I don't even try, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to.

I skidded to a stop, finding myself standing exactly where I always went.

Wow. I had been thinking so hard (Alert the newspaper everyone!) that I hadn't noticed what I'd been doing…where I'd been going…

I guess this 'being alone' thing is so into my system that I don't even need to think about it- I can just _go._

I dropped ever-so-gracefully onto the rocky ground- watching the city below me. Wutai really is a beautiful place. I know it's corny, but it's one of those things where you'd have to see it to believe it.

I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering a very different voice saying the exact same words, not so long ago.

"_Oh Yuffie...really it's just amazing! All the growth in such a dirty place. Oh, but I can't describe it to you. You have to see it to believe it!"_

Aerith. You always spoke of your flowers so fondly. I…never did get to see them. I don't…know if I can…

_**I always needed time on my own**_

_**I never thought I'd; need you there when I cry**_

_**And the days feel like years when I'm alone**_

_**And the bed where you lie is made up on your side…**_

Oh no, not this. Not now. Leviathan knows I think of her often, but please…I can't handle it right now!

I'd prided myself in rarely crying throughout my life- this wasn't going to be one of those times! I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt my throat close up- and I began choking as my body forced me to remember…forced me to feel…

And with horrible clarity, I remembered her final moments. How, in those sparse seconds, she seemed to be trying to say goodbye…that everything would be all right…

I think I guessed what was going to happen then, even before the others knew. I realized before anyone else, that Aerith was going to die.

Those final moments of hers will be with me forever- the realization that she was leaving us to save the planet- willingly giving her life.

After the shock, I was angry. How could she do that? How could she leave Cloud? Or Tifa? How could she leave Cid, Barret, Red, Reeve, and Vincent…

How could she leave me?

_**When you walk away I count the steps that you take**_

_**Do you see how much I need you right now…?**_

Then of course, I'd felt guilt. How could I blame Aerith? She was, well, _her_ after all! She wanted us to live –she wanted the world to live.

Even if she had to die.

I'd only ever lost my mother before. I was really little then. Though it didn't hurt any less, it made it more bearable. After all, my childhood led me to believe that she was only sleeping. Even if I couldn't see her anymore, my mommy was only sleeping. Soon, she would come and we could play again.

But with Aerith…I couldn't deny the blood. I couldn't deny the sound of Cloud's sobbing, a sound I thought I'd never hear. I couldn't deny that her eyes stared unblinkingly, without the light that emanated from her so beautifully. I didn't know what to do.

So I ran.

I didn't know where I was planning on going or doing as wild half-formed thoughts plagued my mind. I just needed to get away.

I couldn't comprehend it. How could life still go one when Aerith's ended? She was a friend…my sister…why, oh why did it have to end?!?!

Why did this pain consume me so? Why did I feel as though I wished to die and bleed right then and there to escape the pain of living this way…

And yet as though I needed this pain so that I wouldn't forget. So that I could know and remember the wonderful flower girl that had sacrificed herself to save us all…

To put it simply, I missed her. I miss her.

_**When you're gone**_

_**The pieces of my heart are missing you**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The face I came to know is missing too**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok**_

_**I miss you…**_

I realized it then, through my shaking, shivering, haze, why I looked around as I did so often- why it seemed so important and familiar.

Aerith…she would look at a place. Not glance like oh-that's-pretty-hey-there's-a-cute-boy kind of way. She gazed, committing to memory.

Only after she lay bleeding did I realize that she was memorizing the places that she'd never see again. The people she would never know again; talk to again.

Sometimes she would get so quiet, I thought she was asleep on her feet. But then I'd look at her face, and I'd know better. She never let us see a tear, never let us know what was wrong. So she cried on the inside.

So not only was I becoming a vampire- but I was becoming a dead Cetra too? Now I know how Cloud felt when he realized that he wasn't himself…

I noticed too, that I would do other things reminiscent of Aerith. Almost everything, it seemed. From the way I moved- making it more fluid, graceful, to how I spoke, being polite, staring people down rather than raising a weapon.

It was like…everything I did kept me closer to her… like my body acted on it's own to make me remember and be with Aerith…

_**I've never felt this way before**_

_**Everything that I do reminds me of you**_

_**And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor**_

_**And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do…**_

I tried to focus on the happy memories. But all of them inevitably reminded me of what I would never have again.

At first…I could differentiate between illusion and reality.

I would wake up, bursting to tell Aerith about a dream I had, a funny thing I had seen. Small little things I know she would like.

And then I realized…that I had no one to tell. And it hit me all over again.

Aerith was gone.

_**When you walk away I count the steps that you take**_

_**Do you see how much I need you right now…?**_

I vowed that I wouldn't lose my remaining sanity. Cloud had lost it, everyone knew that the dead look in his eyes wouldn't leave anytime soon, and I wasn't going to go the same way.

Part of me was proud.

And another part wondered if Aerith was glad.

Was she happy with my choice? Was she happy to only be able to watch us, like from a flickering screen? Was she happy, _period_?

I liked to think so. I hoped that she was happy, wherever she was.

And for a time I contented myself into hoping that I would someday share that happiness when I met her again…

_**When you're gone**_

_**The pieces of my heart are missing you**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The face I came to know is missing too**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok**_

_**I miss you…**_

The sunlight was dancing toward me.

Somehow I didn't guess- I just _knew._

"_Oh Yuffie…"_

And she was there, hovering a few feet above the ground, walking toward me as casually as one would walk to the kitchen.

She swirled insubstantially, looking like pillars of smoke from a raging fire. She smiled, cocking her head to the side, waves of chestnut hair swaying just as they had in life.

"_Well? How are you? Or is that a stupid question?"_

She giggled, settling on the ground with me.

I shrugged, not even finding this experience bizarre.

Hey, in a world where cats can talk and people get their power from shiny balls, you can pretty much be ready for anything.

Aerith tutted, wagging her finger in my face like a mother scolding a child.

"_That isn't an answer, Yuffie! You know what I mean."_

I sighed and nodded, blowing stray wisps of hair out of my face.

"I…have a lot on my mind."

Aerith's expression could only say 'Cut the crap.'

I sighed again. "I…miss you. We all do, Aerith…"

Aerith's expression turned to one of grief. She turned away for a moment. Her whisper was so quiet that I barely caught it.

"_I know…I…miss you all too…"_

I nodded, regretting putting her in such sadness. "Part of it…" I began, waiting for Aerith to turn back toward me. When she did I continued.

"Part of it is…I never said goodbye."

Aerith was silent for a moment.

"_Well…what if you don't have to say goodbye? How about a hello instead?"_

I gave a watery laugh. "That's not quite the same."

"_I know. That's the point."_

I looked away from her. Aerith sighed, speaking again. _"Yuffie…I am always with you…I always will be. You can talk to me whenever you like."_

I nodded. "I know." I looked up, seeing that she was becoming fainter. "You have to leave now, huh?"

Aerith nodded sadly.

"You really ought to visit Cloud, you know. He loved…loves…you a lot."

Aerith nodded again, smiling this time.

"_I am planning on it. Don't worry. I promise that you'll see me again soon."_

She gave me a rather odd look, as though she was trying to give me a hint about something.

I shook it off. She was so faint…the only thing that seemed to be there, was her eyes…her glowing green eyes…

With a small, sad smile, I whispered:

"Hello Aerith. I'll miss you…"

Her now ghostly eyes sparkled once more.

And then, for the second time in my life, she was gone.

_**When you're gone**_

_**The pieces of my heart are missing you**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The face I came to know is missing too**_

_**When you're gone**_

_**The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok**_

_**I miss you…**_

It was strange, seeing her go. I felt both happiness, and grief.

But…mostly happiness, I think.

"…Yuffie?"

I turned, only mildly surprised by Vincent's presence.

"What are you doing here, Vincent?"

He frowned, brow creasing under his headband.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Yuffie."

I smiled. "Just…looking at the world, Vincent. Y' know, it has a lot of problems…but, I think overall…it's pretty good, isn't it?"

Vincent blinked. He seemed at a loss for words (No pun intended).

"Yuffie…you've…changed."

I laughed, and it echoed around me. Wild, carefree, and purely, _me._

"I think I grew up a little, that's all."

Standing up, I hooked my arm through his, grinning madly.

"Ready to face the storm of the _el Godo_? I need someone to use as a shield!"

Vincent seemed to restrain from rolling his eyes with difficulty.

"You haven't changed _that_ much, then."

"Nope. I just found something I didn't even know I'd lost."

"What's that?"

I turned to him again, still smiling. I stared into his crimson eyes and smiled.

"Myself."

_**I miss…you…**_

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Whew! I rather like this...though I think I could have done better. Anyway, I hope I captured the essential Yuffieness, and gave a bit more depth to her character. 

Reviews make me happy inside...)_**  
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